How to Disable the Facebook Feature That Transfers Your DNA To Russian Secret Service Agents

It only takes a few clicks in Facebook to change your privacy settings and deny Zuckerberg the ability to make $5.00 for every DNA sample he sends to the Russian KGB.  Follow the simple steps in this video.

Celebrity Diaper Signing!

I take a lot of teasing because I wear an adult diaper and I don't have to. (What's wrong with a little extra security?)  But I guess I got the last laugh a few weeks ago when I spotted "Potsy" (aka Anson Williams) at a grocery store in Culver City.  I asked the former superstar of "Happy Days" fame if he would autograph my diaper.  He said "Sure".  What a good sport, because I was wearing it at the time.
It's often said that success is being in the right place at the right time.  Well, I guess that's what happened to me that day. 
And if I happen to meet up with Anson again in the future, I'm going to tell him that when I wear this diaper, I'm filled -- with pride!  I'm sure he'll be thrilled!

Hey Sam! My New Tony-Tracker Mobile App Will Be a Goldmine!

Forget about that Facebook IPO because my new mobile app will generate so much cash you won’t know how to spend it!  I’ve already contacted several banks in the Cayman Islands to see if they were interested in holding my millions!  Here’s how it works!  This mobile app combines Tony Danza’s tweets and blog posts and tracks his every movement by hijacking the GPS coordinates from his cell phone.  Now you can follow everything Danza, 24 x 7!  Who wouldn’t want this on their iPhone or Roid?!  I am in the process of setting up a special website to aggregate and manage venture capital, but those interested in getting in on the ground floor can contact me directly.  Do you want to rub shoulders with Bill Gates and Warren Buffett?  What are you waiting for? 

FRAUD AT POLLS: I Fail to Win American Idol as a Write-in Candidate

The fix was in from the beginning

For the fourth time in as many years, I failed to win American Idol as a write-in candidate.  Executives at FreeMantle Media, the company that distributes the show, refused to recognize my candidacy and failed to report the votes I received.  This morning, they did not return my phone calls.  My guess is that I probably got around a million votes.  Some guy named Phillip Wilson Phillips won.  I didn't get sh*t.

A Warning To Us All, and Especially To Us Drug Users

The Ticket, the Ghost, the Beast, the Cheap, the Hawk, or simply "25". Whatever you call it, LSD is a bad trip. Please review the accompanying video, and while you're at it, gather the kids around the set and let them witness the sad story of Blueboy for themselves. Then have a serious talk with your kids about drugs. Ask them if they know kids that use drugs, or sell drugs, and are the drugs any good, and how much do they charge for the drugs.

A public service announcement, courtesy of NatSpat.

And remember kids, "Live and let Live. Down with Fuzz!"

Hello Dere!

Is anyone funnier than the great Marty Allen? Answer: No! I still split a gut when th 89 year old super-goof says "Hello Dere!" Where can we get more like him?!

Wikipedia Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marty_Allen_(comedian)

How Many Brad Berwick Albums Do You Own?

I don't have any, but I wish I had this one!  There's a great web site that lists tons of Beatles novelty songs.  Find it here:

http://monstr66.narod.ru/#12072

You can hear a lot of them on YouTube.  Here is the link to the Brad Berwick song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeK9raStDPs

He wasn't, by the way.

Here is a link to the novelty song Cher did -- her first solo recording (recorded as Bonnie Jo Mason), produced by Phil Spector.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIQ8coQX9mg