Boy Voted "Most Likely to Fire Upon His Classmates", Becomes a Success, Sort Of

It wasn't easy for Jerry Randall. At the age of fourteen, he was sent to the juvenile home for shooting out car windows. And in high school, he received a suspension after sending a death threat to the "Principle" (the spelling error was easily tracked to Jerry). With few options, he ran away from home and joined the Marines. He was happy in the service, having received the OK from the government to kill people from other countries. But after his hitch, the dangerous loner became a walking time-bomb. Under the spell of local militia groups, Jerry pledged to help "correct" the maladies ailing the US, and began plotting a violent "solution" with his new buddies. But then things began to change. By accident, he noticed that the fertilizer he'd been storing behind his garage had turned the lawn a verdant green. The discovery inspired Jerry to continue to tinker with landscaping, and eventually he started his own lawn service business. A hard worker, Jerry's busy schedule caused him to miss several "meetings", and eventually he disowned the group of survivalist misfits. "They're kooks," says Jerry now. Currently, he is a happily married man and has a seven-year old son, James Earl, who he takes to the rifle range five days a week.